New and scared
Hi all
I'm new on here...I never dreamed I would be writing in a forum like this.....
I met my af when I was 22,he is a few years older than me and so I naively thought it was a sign of sophistication to be drinking a bottle of wine a night. The newness of the relationship caused me not to question it I guess.
I fell pregnant with our little boy a couple of years in. He is an amazingly devoted dad despite his issue with alcohol and our little boy worships him.
When our son was born he didn't wake up one night to feed him as he had promised me. Unbeknown to me he had started drinking when I went to bed. It was a wake up call and he then became t-total for 6 years.
However last year he wanted to celebrate my birthday with me and decided he was going to have a drink. I begged him not to. Told him he would not be able to resist more if he started again but he was certain he was a changed person.
I sit here one year down the line. He now drinks about 2 bottles of wine a night. Last night it was a bottle of wine and a bottle of vodka. I woke up to a bathroom full of sick.
He has on many occasions said he will stop altogether, or only drink at the weekends but every time he goes back on this. I've now told him it's over and he does not seem bothered. He blames me for his drinking I make him miserable with my judgmental ways.
He has plunged us into loads of debt and I figure I need at least 6 months to get finances straight before I can actually get out of here....I just can't believe he chose the drink and not me. And he chose the drink and not our little family. My poor little boy. I'll never forgive him for this......