Great ideas to journal - your post is not unlike others, including myself. I too kept a journal writing down all the times he was abusive...his specific words and I would read them back to myself. One day I was so disturbed I deleted it. That's how strong manipulation can be. Even I didn't want to look at it.
My advice is just practice. My Abf does this all the time and every time the behavior is bad I promise I'm not going back...then the apologies...the promises...the sweetness...and I'm back in.
Do you live with him? If not legally, then he needs to respect that (even if it means calling cops which I've had to do before) and you must make it a boundary and practice it. I am still learning this but setting little boundaries until I am strong enough to say no more EVER. (Now I'm starting with "no for today"). Just start by telling yourself "NO, NOT TODAY". If you can start with that and practice....you will get stronger. I know how scary it can be....I am struggling myself but just saying that I don't have to for today, is helping.