Life has been going good. I am sober.
I have not heard anything back from the email I sent about a different job. Honestly, I am not really looking for another job per say. Change is not something that I adapt to very well. However, it doesn't hurt to reach out and to see if something can come of it. Either way, I am still moving along and putting in effort. Even with the back and forth of Management and the rules that apply one day but dont apply the next, I can let this wash over me. People are complicated management or not. I am an awesome employee with a lot to offer.
On to the more important things:
My running routine and other work outs have proven to be successful. I am getting stronger and able to sustain my little routine everyday. Lately I have been running a half mile as fast as I can (4:20 on most days) then I switch to pushups (10 to 12). I then hit the half mile again. I repeat this little cycle as many times as possible in the hour that I am at the gym. In the cool down faze I am practicing hand stands and long stretches (yoga).... Im not good at the hand stands yet.....operative word is, yet!
As long as I am sweating and gaining strength, I feel accomplished for the day. Anything that comes after that (family drama, work drama or other dramas) can be handled with calm energy. I have learned that profuse sweating makes for a very calm Mizzuno. I have always known this about myself but when I was drinking **** tons of alcohol on the daily I couldnt function at optimum levels and I had a lot of anxiety. Alcohol produces anxiety. Alcohol, for me, produces little to no productivity. It was a horrible cycle that I am so GRATEFUL to be out of.
Thoughts of drinking only come when I am not fueled properly. I was so caught up in work yesterday, that when I got off work my brain fancied the idea of drinking. I knew that I had not eaten much during the day. I knew that I was tired from 8 hours of running all around at work and my exercise from the morning. When I got home, I had a pesto turkey sandwich on a croissant and hopped into the bath. Soon enough the thoughts of alcohol had left and I was stable again.
I am doing all the right things to maintain my sobriety. The one thing that I have to pay attention to and it has become a priority is my nutrition. No one likes to be hangry. This can happen to me......
Kaneda,
Clusterfug is exactly what we are dealing with. There has been a lot of change in the work environment lately that has become positive for me. One of the higher levels of management has left and I am very thrilled to be able to work without her demands any longer. I wont get into specifics but I was telling HR yesterday that I think I needed therapy from her abuse. I feel traumatized by this individual who selectively harassed me and my work for years on end. I am not making this up or blowing this out of proportion. Her actions were literally abusive, and at every corner there was a problem with what I was doing. I was not the only one she focused on but her focus was directed at women and those women were going to be taken down by her. People would leave our company due to her behaviors. Fortunately, I stuck it out and now I can BREATHE. I am breathing in my work and not holding my breath waiting for a meeting or to be berated. It is awesome.
All of the other stuff at work can be dealt with. This is life. People are tricky and learning how to navigate the trickiness is what I am doing. As long as it is not taking away my health, I am fine. More than fine.
Thats the Mizzuno update!