Wisconsin

So first, on the job front, I LOVE LOVE LOVE my new job. Seriously, I am so very glad I made the switch.

AXH took our DS to our hometown (500 miles away, where his family still lives but mine does not) for a few days last weekend. His new GF and her son came along, as well. Guys, I was so worried about how my anxiety levels would be with DS so far away. I was dismayed to hear that AXH left DS and his GF's DS alone with AXH's dad for an hour so (something we had long ago agreed to NEVER do, given his father's history of physical abuse when AXH and his sisters were growing up), but the circumstances surrounding it are not exceedingly troubling, and AXH's father has most certainly mellowed over the last 25 years. At one point I asked AXH if his girlfriend knows anything about his dad's history, because I cannot IMAGINE someone being willing to leave a young child with a man with that history. AXH insists she knows, so whatever. I spoke my peace (we agreed to NEVER do that, and this makes me uncomfortable), and I've mostly moved on from it in my head at this point. He was, as usual, dismissive of my feelings and opinions, and I got upset for a moment and made a comment about how this is hard for me. Naturally, he interpreted that to mean that it is hard for me that he has a girlfriend and has taken her to meet his family. All I wanted was to be OFF the phone, so I ended the call, thinking to myself "no, this is hard for me because you are starting your cycle all over again with some new woman AND her son, and I know what awaits them both." Some codie behaviors die hard, my friends...

Anyway, DS had a fabulous time and even got to go for a short, SLOW ride on the back of his grandpa's Harley (something I knew about ahead of time and gave my OK for. Grandpa may have been an abusive jerk of a father and husband, but the man knows how to RIDE, and it's the one thing I absolutely trust him with. We agreed that DS would of course have a helmet on at all times, and that they would not leave the neighborhood or go over 25 MPH.)

On the whole, now that the divorce is final (something that had been weighing me down emotionally much more than I realized), things are MUCH easier. I do not feel the need to keep the peace for the sake of getting the divorce done. I am able to honor my general apathy about everything and do stuff like ignore calls I don't want to take.

I'm no dummy. He's still drinking. His new GF is a drinker. There is absolutely no reason at all to think he will get anything but worse. But for now, I'm comfortable with where I'm at on my side of the street, and I'm comfortable with the level of attention I'm paying to his side of the street for the sake of DS's safety.