AVRT takes no interest in operating upon someone who is drunk. When you say you are "two people" I know what you mean. I was also two people. The nondrinking me made huge sacrifices and spent much time and effort trying to protect the drunken me. I had become used to being IN THAT STATE with all the wonderful buzz and wild thoughts and physical bumbling and unpredictable outbursts and dangerous actions and occasional violences and attrocities and disgusting behavior against other people. Not that I wasn't occasionally funny, blah, blah, blah.
The drunken me HAD TO DIE - BECOME NON-EXISTENT - NEVER SHOW HIS PRESENCE IN THE UNIVERSE EVER AGAIN.
So, I killed the drunken me.
But then -
Feeling the grief following the drunken me's death is the BEAST of RR barking It's Addictive Voice.
All those feelings and thoughts of loss and sadness are totally normal.
So, do you see the difference between the drunken you and your BEAST?
The Beast lives quite normally within a perfectly abstinent former drunk and can be understood and never acted upon easily with AVRT.
Any time you choose, you can kill the drunken you with the Big Plan of AVRT.
You can only do it once.
You can't take it back and say "I didn't really mean it, I think I'll try drinking again."
But you can never kill the Beast of RR within you any more than you can kill the memory of a loved one hugging you and your wanting to be together.
So, don't make your Big Plan until you really want to kill the drunken you.