Originally Posted by
joandmelandhan 
(((Red))) I'm kind of starting to think there's something about this 2 month mark. I've seen a lot of it about me included. I think we're really starting to live life as it is warts and all and it's comes as a bit of an overwhelming shock. Ive had to do some kind of emergency recovery plan work this week as I was lost and upset and actually angry. Also I don't know about you but I'm also having to face myself as a person who's papered over the cracks with wine for 15 years. I'm not keen on her yet but I have to trust that with a plan and with sobriety and with TIME this will improve.
I'm going to tell you something now. I've not really got one true friend. Out there in the real world I mean. I've 2 beautiful daughters, a lovely family and caring boyfriend so I'm very lucky don't get me wrong. But friends? No. The L in HALT at times is an issue for me.
Sorry for rambling I just wanted to let you know you are not alone in this journey. If it was easy we wouldn't be here. Being scared and tired and anxious and confused and angry are all part of the process I think.
You inspire me Red just like many others here I hope you find some way of finding a little more peace soon ❤❤❤
Thanks so much, Jo. That is exactly it. I am shocked at some things I used to numb out, and now the changes I need to make are pretty big. I am all full of fear so really that is the first thing--just be brave enough not to pick up, and start taking steps. Small ones. Am isolated and sick of that so I am going to get closer to people. I found out I am not a loner--not an extrovert but like being around others. Alcohol is the loneliest, saddest thing in reality. Though I told myself I was socializing I was actually much more cut off.
Thank you so much. Please message any time. We are headed for easier times, but have this wonderful group of friends here to help us through. I want to start helping others too. Love sober life too much. A day like this is still better than any day drinking.
xx.
Red