I can relate to your thinking! For me, I had to be willing to do everything necessary to not drink. I made my home an alcohol-free zone throwing EVERYTHING away that reminded me of drinking....my wine openers, wine glasses, pictures, everything. Not drinking is uncomfortable and I needed to be willing to feel uncomfortable. I didn't sleep so well and I had to keep myself busy. Perhaps find a friend to talk with who can come over when you are feeling low. Glad you found this site; lots of great information!