Welcome to sr. you will find lots of support here. That cycle is so very hard to break I know but it is possible. I also have kids and for me the craving kicks in when the days work and chores are finished. I feel like I need a break a release etc but for me cos I'm an alcoholic it bought me to my knees. I felt soooo tired and anxiety ridden and in a fog. Horrible feeling and life loses its joy. I truly believe that there is no joy in alcohol for me now it stopped working a long long time ago. Hope you find the support you need here and get a recovery plan in place. There is also Aa meetings smart recovery etc. Chin up there is hope x