Originally Posted by
FallenAngelina 
Are you sure that it was an official Al-Anon group? At every meeting, the steps are read aloud. Every meeting features a different lead-off speaker each week. Most meetings follow a topic schedule and discussing the steps is in the topic schedule. In every meeting, each participant is given time to share. All of this provides quite a bit of opportunity for variety. There isn't conversation as we normally engage in it, but individuals sharing what is on their mind that week. If you were going to a meeting in which there was a repetitive group conversation week after week, perhaps it was not an affiliated Al-Anon group.
And as honeypig said, it's often the case that you'll need to try a few different meetings before you find one (or a few) that feels right. A big part of what feels right, as Lexicat says, is that the participants focus on themselves and solutions, not on alcoholics and problems. This reminder is also part of every Al-Anon meeting at the beginning.
Nothing is part of "EVERY" Al-Anon meeting. As with AA, group conscience determines the format and content of the meetings.
The Twelve Traditions of Al-Anon state:
- Our common welfare should come first; personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity.
- For our group purpose there is but one authority—a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants—they do not govern.
- The relatives of alcoholics, when gathered together for mutual aid, may call themselves an Al-Anon Family Group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation. The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend.
- Each group should be autonomous, except in matters affecting another group or Al-Anon or AA as a whole.
- Each Al-Anon Family Group has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps of AA ourselves, by encouraging and understanding our alcoholic relatives, and by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics.
- Our Family Groups ought never endorse, finance or lend our name to any outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary spiritual aim. Although a separate entity, we should always co-operate with Alcoholics Anonymous.
- Every group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
- Al-Anon Twelfth Step work should remain forever non-professional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
- Our groups, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
- The Al-Anon Family Groups have no opinion on outside issues; hence our name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
- Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, films, and TV. We need guard with special care the anonymity of all AA members.
- Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles above personalities.
So the "primary purpose" in Tradition 5 is really the only restriction, along with not acting in a way that interferes with Al-Anon as a whole. If the group wants to use non-conference approved literature, it can. If it wants to have cross-talk, prayers, no prayers, it can.
Pays to take some time to find a group that is a good fit.