Seconding Lexie's suggestion. I've only ever been to one meeting that was outright BAD, and it wasn't a meeting so much as a lone person who clearly had some mental/emotional issues who was pretending to be a meeting...but certainly I've been to meetings that I found more and less helpful.
Here's a paraphrased version of what I posted on this topic in a different thread:
Find a meeting or meetings that seem to be a good fit for you. Try a few to see. The one closest to you or at the most convenient time isn't necessarily the best one for you.
Then go regularly. Read Alanon literature--tons of Alanon books are available used on Amazon for very reasonable prices. This will help get you jump-started on how the program works.
Truthfully, there can be just as much help found in conversations with an individual or two after the meeting while putting away chairs or at a coffee shop before or after the meeting as you'd find in the meeting itself.
The catch to Alanon is this: I have to do the work. An Alanon saying is "It works if you work it", meaning that the program works as well as the amount of effort that I put into it. If I get out for a run once a week and eat healthy twice a week, how much can I really complain if I don't lose any weight or feel any better? Same with Alanon--popping in to a speaker meeting once in a while or sitting quietly in a group that I attend once a month isn't going to do a lot for me.
I will confess that I never did go the full route and get a sponsor, but I did attend the same particular meetings as regularly as I could, given that I had jobs/schedules that changed often during those years. I read Alanon literature. I signed up to chair a meeting once in a while (awkward, nervous, but not going to kill me, right?). I signed up to be the person who picked a topic and gave the lead-off share. I volunteered once a month at the Alanon office. I shared at meetings if I felt I had something worthwhile to say, and I did my best to be brief and clear in that share. Otherwise I passed. I listened carefully to what was said by others.
The very first night I was alone after XAH moved out, someone I'd never met emailed me and said she was looking for someone to go to a meeting the next day and take a walk afterwards. I accepted and was glad I did--it was just what I needed.
On two occasions, to my great alarm, newbies called ME off the phone list they'd received and asked if I'd meet them for coffee before the meetings. Holy carpfish! Well, the saying from AA is "suit up and show up", so that's what I did, and I'd like to think I was of some use to these folks...
So what I'm saying here, in my not-so-subtle way, is that you gotta get involved if you want to reap the benefits. Just sitting in a meeting won't put me into recovery any more than sitting in my garage will make me into a car. It's an active program, not a passive "fix-me" thing.
If you give it a try from that angle, you might find you feel very different about it.
I hope you do find a different Alanon group and that you get active in it. I am not one of those folks who makes Alanon the center of her life, but I do know that I need to work for my recovery; it won't happen by osmosis.