so you've known this guy for three months - supposedly he's been "in" AA for years, but didn't have a slip, went on a drinking binge that took three days to recover from. for all you know, he could have had a drink or twelve a week before you met, a month, a year. you only have the tiniest sliver of what this man is like in the 90 or so days you have known him. let's see, 24 hours in a day, 90 days, that amasses 2,160 HOURS of your life that you have known this guy...............
now his "new" plan is to continue all the friends with benefits stuff, but not call it a "relationship" so he can..........focus on his sobriety. that's not how it's done. unless you like to keep a booty call handy and play the sober card.
you may think you feel love towards this person. but you don't even know him. i think that's where i'd start......why did i "fall in love" with a virtual stranger?? how did you get to "we" will fight thru this, "we" will be whole again? you have no idea what you are up against....you are already wondering if he is using you. you have been told by others he is manipulating you. that's an awful lot of drama and chaos for 2000 or so hours of involvement.