Originally Posted by
FallenAngelina 
You're asking how to not monitor his drinking and Al-Anon is the place to start. Are you participating in the Al-Anon program? The more you share with us, the more it's clear that you need broad support and a soul-recovery program, such as Al-Anon offers.
I know that it's not healthy to monitor the drinking. Trust me, I'm A LOT better about this now-a-days. I learned to stop this behavior through Al-Anon and reading about co-dependency. Granted, I'm not perfect with it. I still fall off of my wagon and check the trash bin for empties here & there. If I feel myself tuning into his behavior, I try to regain the focus onto myself by doing something I like to do. I'm getting better at this as time goes by.
No, I'm not actively participating in Al-Anon. I went for about 3 months or so. It helped a lot at first. They never talked about the steps. The conversations ended up being about the same thing each week. It began to feel like a broken record; just stuck on the same song and never moving forward.