Wishing you all the best captainkitty (I love that name, too.) I am sorry for the losses you have endured and for your struggle with alcohol. I am an empath and seem to feel everyone's pain very acutely, to the point where it is hard to cope sometimes. I have always been sensitive and I do get it. My emotions were particularly raw in early sobriety. I do wish you would stick around. There are lots of people here who genuinely care and are rooting for you to succeed. I believe you should give this forum some more time; it has been indispensable to my sobriety.