Old 06-22-2017, 01:08 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
dwtbd
quat
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,819
Originally Posted by Velocity View Post
I can relate to having my motives and my thinking wrapped around everywhere but the present. In the past I've learned that you have to live for today because the past is the past future is unknown etc. basically the quote mentioned.

Problem I have that I am trying to recognize at least, is that living in the present means I'm drinking without a care for tomorrow or yesterday, whenever i drink it's like as if I don't want time to exist and I don't care that it does either. It's a toxic way of thinking I'm sure but how do I get to the point where I do care and CAN be present at the same time. So much of my will to get sober is constantly thinking about being sober for the rest of my life and enjoying sobriety so its hard to put my mind in the present. I had no problem keeping my present mind while drinking because to me, the future didn't exist because I was "stuck in time" every night with a drink in my hand. The past was just another hangover and the future was basically thinking about the next drink.

The nervousness I am expressing here isn't so much life without alcohol, I think I might have that anyway, but rather just feeling like I'm taking on a huge and daunting task keeping away from the very heavy chain that is my alcoholism. The huge burden and influence it has had on my life for years, and I'm just gonna up and quit no problem one day? Yeah right...
Ok now it's getting weird, quit writing my posts , seriously 'yeah, and right' drop that burden full stop, in one day , you can do it, the thing holding you back emphasizing the dauntingness is th addicition itself seeing ITs own end, IT is trying to trick you , like it did in the past , to not believe you can do it, but you can , rootin for ya!
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