Alcohol Induced Anhedonia is a real thing.
Anhedonia is the inability to experience pleasure. I was loaded with it whenever I quit drinking. I would quit, life seemed dreary, so I would start again thinking
'sober life is dreary'.
Problem was, I was never really past the longer-term emotional effects of alcohol. In hindsight, I was never really sober.
Now I am - and life is great again.
Hang in there, Friend! It gets better!