Originally Posted by summersolstice
I shortened my work day for this, and now I'm not working at all.
This is very frustrating for sure. I can understand being upset, but your reaction only added more stuff to your already full plate.
Originally Posted by summersolstice
This was all kicked off because my doctor, who was going to treat me for my condition today didn't want to be in her office without her a/c.
I'm going to say something here that will probably sound pretty irritating. I always wanted to slap ppl when they said stuff like this to me, but there was truth there I couldn't deny so I'll go ahead and say it. This was
not kicked off by the doctor and her lame actions. This was kicked off by by
your feelings about it. Look, people can and do suck a lot of the time, things happen to us that we can't control, life generally blows on some days. Nothing is ever going to change those facts. I'm not opposed to blasting a few profanities, getting bent for a minute, but anything beyond that means I end up only
causing myself harm with no change to the original outcome anyway.
I witnessed abuse of my mom as well, beatings/bruises. Even many years later, as an adult, when I feel in a situation of powerlessness or like I'm at someone or something's mercy (like you were in today) it has the potential to bring up strong feelings of fear and rage. Feelings that to others may seem irrational, but when situations like that happen, in my mind I can quickly brought to feeling 6, or 8, or 10 years old again feeling trapped and terrified. It's almost automatic, but I've worked very hard to learn to interrupt those automatic responses. When I first started seeing a therapist about this after I'd quit drinking, I was super pissed that I even had to learn how to do it lol but I did have to if I wanted a chance at any semblance of peace/calm/ease in my own skin.
Given the choice, I always opt for the shower and a nap. Whatever you decide, I hope your day rounds out better than it started.