I do a lot of things.
I do practice meditation similar to what Zero talked about. I too know that my past is effecting me in sneaky ways.
I was able to "heal" my relationship with my dad about the abuse before his death, and that made the death very hard yet pretty guilt free. My mom ... well I'm like you Zen ... she is really a sort of pathetic old woman now who tries hard ... I don't bring up the old stuff with her and try to keep her from going there as if we go there I probably would say a lot of hurtful things at this point... work to do with meditation and therapy.
I do attend AA a few times a week just to hang with sober people and get out of the house. some times that goes well, sometimes not. I'm pretty reactive lately so I have to watch myself.
I really love the support I am getting through my "monthly support" thread. It has really made a big difference in my sobriety. I need friendship at this point... might join a monastery or just go live in a cave at some point ... but right now people are key.
This sobriety has FINALLY felt different than any attempts in the last 5 years. Ended up in a good treatment program (after a previous horrible one) for 30 days and it was suggested I consider retirement or disability so I retired ... I have time to work through my BS and build a joyful life. As always .. some aspects suck some of the time.. but it doesn't overwhelm the gratitude I feel for being a human being and I actually like the idea of living again
thanks for asking and sorry for going on and on so....