You're all right....now that I've actually slept (sort of) on it I can think more clearly. I'm not sure if I'm truly withdrawing (probably am) but I'm not an anxious mess anymore. I don't feel sick anymore, or anxious or shaky. Maybe it'll come back but I took today off of work just in case it does.
For me It's more of I just anticipate a drink at night but I don't wake up drinking, I don't miss work for it, no one really knew that it was a problem for me cause I guess I hide it well or something. Or when they see me drink it's at social events. I just want to kill his habit before it becomes too much of a problem. My dad won't go into deep details with me about what happened to him as a result of his drinking but my brother has had I think two DUIs and a DWI which he's paying heavily for now. Has an interlock in his car now and had to do a lot of community service to avoid a week or so of jail time. I knew that I'm closely related to two alcoholics but I didn't realize that literally my uncles, an aunt, a grandpa and great grandpa were all alcoholics.
I guess I just feel really super ashamed of it, which is indicative of there being a problem. I shouldn't be, but I still do. Like I've failed or tainted my parents' view of me. But I'm lucky that they're super supportive. I've just got to start this now. I'm 24. I'm looking at AA groups in my area. I'm not particularly religious or anything (I've heard it runs that sort of line) but I think it'd be helpful to be around people who can relate. I have friends who I know binge drink but they won't open up on their own about it to me so I don't grill them about it. Anyways, thanks for reading. I just need to learn to believe in myself.