Alcoholism can be a small part of an alcoholic's life as long as that person sheds it.
Sometimes I visualize substance abuse as the big puffy coat. The catch is that that big puffy coat has barbed wire inside it. Anybody who tries to get close to the addict inevitably gets stabbed by the barbed wire. Unfortunately, the person who wears it gets stabbed too.
The big puffy barbed wire coat is there because it is the protective shield between the person and the world. In the beginning, the coat is brand new and nobody who looks at the person can see that something is wrong. But the longer you wear it, the more worn down it becomes and the barbed wire pokes through.
And sometimes, the coat is the absolutely the last thing you need. The weather gets up to 120 degrees, and you need to shed the coat. But addicts cling onto it because they don't know that they can seek shelter someplace else.
You can't minimize the effects of alcoholism. I struggle too with trying to not to judge my sister for her reliance on pot to get her through life. But I saw what happened when she tried to minimize the effects of her sexual assault by befriending her rapist. She relied on the substances to get past her revulsion, and now all she does is date people who are just like her rapist. She talks about peace and love, but I frankly think she needs her boyfriends to take some sort of substance so they can tolerate her anger. She denied the physical abuse that both of us endured - she still hangs out with the person who abused us and tells me that "it wasn't that bad." But she hangs out with that person because that person doesn't hold my sister accountable for the choices she made, and my sister can't deal with the shame associated with those choices (she had an affair with a forty-something pot smoker who still lived with his parents and essentially threw her family's financial health down the toilet. For years, she pretended not to be divorced, and basically gave her kids to my parents for them to raise.)
It's easier in the short term to think that the anger shouldn't be there, but you are way better off in the long run struggling with it and extracting every single lesson it can give you before you let it go. And when you let it go, you will be wiser. You will be sadder. But you won't need beer, you yourself won't need a barbed wire puffy coat to get you through your life. You will be you. People will see YOU and love you for who you are. And anybody else who can't deal with your authentic self, you'll be able to let them go and move on.