Great post, David Sedaris is hilarious!
Also interesting re: the European vs American reaction to declining a drink, as I have found the same thing! Americans don't even usually get into it when I say I don't drink... But in France everyone is like ohhhhh come on just one!!
And the "going to any lengths" is a concept more than a literal action of some kind. It reminds me that I would have done just about anything to get alcohol when I was deep in active alcoholism... Sneaking around, lying, finding weird places to pour booze in a water bottle... And I have to be just as determined to succeed in my sobriety as I was in successfully finding a drink!!