For the first time, I'm taking a warrior attitude toward my initial detox, cravings, and AV. Discipline. "NO, I AM NOT GOING TO DRINK POISON". My cravings are scared of me. Withdrawals are easier to control when I am in control. I will be adjusting my plan as I progress, but for now, NO! I will not put alcohol in my mouth. I need more structure, discipline, time management, productivity, and quality rest. This, for me is a good start. I understand alcohol will try to sneak in when I'm stressed, or weak, but that's a physiological manifestation of my addiction. Alcohol does not have a body, brain or spirit. It's the stuff that's 10% of our gasoline. Our brains trick ourselves into thinking a pleasure mechanism behind it's consumption. My method keeps me thinking about it, whereas I would give in and just go to the store in the past. I already have plans to change my thinking as I normalize, but for now... it's war. I hope people understand my mentality toward it. It's a way to keep me thinking about how not to drink it in the beginning. As an addiction; I have accepted that it will always manifest itself, but initially, I cannot allow it to defeat me. With time, I understand the acceptance has to be dealt with differently. I am planning this shift in mentality.
A little tired today after getting up crazy early. I fell asleep while eating chocolate in bed and things look nasty after rolling around in it all night, but at least it's not something else.
Day 4 (which I haven't done in a while).