Old 06-19-2017, 07:39 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
atalose
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I think educating myself about alcoholism and addict behaviors helped me fully understand exactly what is was I was dealing with.

You stated your wife has been an alcoholic off and on for 11 years. If you are an alcoholic you will be an alcoholic for life whether or not you are drinking you are still an alcoholic. It is either sober or not sober.

Alcoholism is a progressive disease as you are witnessing and even if she stopped, drinking her disease will still be there.

I constantly find myself going back and forth and she even calls me selfish for not continuing to try and help her get better and giving up even though I have supported us while she hasn't worked ever and paid for her to go to rehab which didnt work back in September.
It’s very typical behavior for addicts to put the blame and onus of their drinking or stopping drinking on someone else. That way they don’t have to take any responsibility for it at all.

Rehabs are a tool, an opportunity for them to get sober and learn new coping skills. Most rehabs encourage an after rehab action plan to help them stay sober like AA or counseling, something other then just their own thinking. And rehabs, AA meetings, counseling are never ever going to work long term if the alcoholic doesn’t truly want to get sober.

I think once you talk with an attorney or two or three you will understand where you stand what responsibilities as far as alimony you might be responsible for. And depending on your state alimony may only be temporary.
Alcoholism is life long, even if she were to jump into recovery and actually follow a program she will always be one bad thought away from drinking again.

Knowing the FACTS about alcoholism and studying those FACTS is what helped me to get out of my “emotional” thinking with the heart and accepting the reality of the situation.
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