For those of you that were able to leave, how did you get over the guilt and the codependency feelings of wanting to help the aloholic.
I joined this forum and got information. Knowledge is power. I realised his issues would be the same no matter what I did. It was like trying to hold back a tsumani with a bucket. We separated in 2009 but for financial, house related issues, plus 8 kids and his refusal to go, we lived in the same house until 2014. This may have continued indefinitely but things came to a head at the beginning of 2014 when he had two cprs in one weekend, on our dd's birthday, cos of his drinking and I found out he had taken out a loan using our paid off ( by me, he never worked) house as collateral. Something inside me broke. I was raging, heartbroken but ready to face reality. I got all the debt, he got the house...long back story on here somewhere but I never looked back. I don't feel guilt. As far as am concerned he should be the one feeling guilty. He's been in rehab 4 times for extended residential stays but he admitted to one of our sons he's never ever stopped drinking. I don't care. I only remember he still exists if one of my son's mentions him and even they have washed their hands of him now. How I got to this stage was by slowing realisation he is who he is and NOTHING I did was helpful. I was worn out, depressed and anxious all the time and for what? He's perfectly capable of getting sober without me in his life. I regret the 20 years I put up with him tho. It was 19 too long.