Thanks Maudcat, Hopeful, and ArtMachine.
I've been away from SR for a little while dealing with my husband's doctor appointments and tests. We will be going to Boston in a few weeks to get second opinions from Massachusetts General Hospital and the Dana Farber Cancer Institute.
Through all of this recent turmoil, I have noticed that I have an increased desire to drink or do drugs myself. I have completely abstained from drugs, something that was problematic for me a few decades ago, and have not increased my alcohol consumption, which has always been rare to occasional. However, I have found my thoughts going towards getting drunk or high which clearly indicate a need for relief from the psychological pain of late.
When my husband was going through the scare of possibly needing cardiac intervention (the possible outcomes ranged from needing a stent to open heart surgery which would have delayed his cancer treatment for months, in the former case, if not years, in the latter case), the stress was unbelievable. It was almost as bad as when he was in the ER with congestive heart failure Feb 27 to Mar 1. Thankfully, no intervention was needed and he was cleared for surgery which took place one month ago (I probably already mentioned this). His recovery has been going great, so that's good. He cannot drink because of diabetes and cancer; but he, like myself, doesn't drink much anyway. He has to stay on a relatively strict diet which helps me stay on track with my own diet.
I haven't received any updates about B since the family gathering a few weeks ago. Nor have I asked. I sent Dad a Fathers Day card with a letter in an attempt to help Dad forgive himself and let go. I encouraged him to detach in a gentle way. Praying he does to the extent that is needed for both himself and B.