Today is my 31st day of sobriety. Yesterday I was tempted to drink for the first time since I left the drug environment I was in. Marital problems are a big distraction and sometimes it seems that my marriage is all I can focus on. I got emotional and drove home wanting so badly to stop and buy alcohol so I could drink until I fell asleep. I did not stop. I went straight home knowing full well alcohol would only make it worse.
For me alcohol used to promise relief and relaxation, but the reality is that it brings depression and painful emotions to the forefront of my mind. After being tempted yesterday I realized that I could not wing it with recovery. I needed a plan. Structured environments have always kept me out of trouble. I am so grateful for the sober recovery forums. I was able to find resources to put together an action plan for recovery. I feel like I have the tools I need to face times like yesterday when I am tempted.
I am still working on my action plan, but I now have some resources to refer to. I have structure.
I am still working on finding a counselor to talk to as well as a secular, local support group. I need to find someone who does not cost money and I can talk to on a regular basis. I know there are plenty of options out there. If you have any suggestions, please feel free to share
I am grateful for this forum and I am grateful for another day of sobriety.