Originally Posted by Jenni37

Hello everyone,
I'm new to this forum and just stumbled upon it looking for some moral support. I would say I was a functional alcoholic. I don't drink everyday, I have never missed work because of drinking, don't drink and drive but I have been a binge drinker on weekends. I have woken up embarrassed and full of regret more time than I care to admit. I'm finally taking steps to change my behavior and stop drinking. I have come to the conclusion that I can't even have one drink because I can never stop myself at just one. I have tried to just limit myself to 3 drinks so many times and if I start drinking I just don't want to stop. I have always been calculated with my drinking. When my kids were younger I would get them all tucked in bed and have my wine while they were asleep not aware I was drinking. There have been a handful of times as they have grown older that they have seen me drinking and being drunk. Not proud of that at all. My family is my top priority and they mean the world to me. We live a great family life. My husband and I are successful at our jobs, we do a lot with our kids, we travel, our kids are involved in club sports, we have a lot fun as a family but drinking has always been in the mix. I have always hated that but made excuses that we do it responsibly and it's not a big deal. My husband drinks to but keeps it together better me. If I have to much I'm loud, I repeat myself and you can tell I'm drinking. 13 days ago after drinking to much the night before and waking up regretful, with my husband upset with I decided I'm just done. I downloaded Allen Carr's book( absolutely great read) I read it in 3 days and have not had a drink since. I feel great, I don't struggle not to have a drink, I don't usually drink on weekdays at all, but come the weekend and I drink every single day right up to Sunday night. I feel so happy I have chosen to stop but I do have fears that I will want to start again. My husband is so proud of me but he is still drinking. Last weekend we had company over and instead of telling them I have quit drinking I made what looked like a cocktail ( no alchol) and sipped it so I would not have to have the whole conversation about stopping. I have a girls trip coming up with my girlfriends and I'm nervous that I will feel left out and not have a great time because I'm not drinking and I know all of them will be drinking. The difference is they can drink a few and stop. I feel like I'm rambling. I guess I'm just looking for advice and people who understand my situation and have been there too. I'm happy I found this site for support and learning from others in my shoes. Looking forward to any wisdom or advice.