You're always welcoem here 1step
I feel a great empathy because, many years ago I was in a similar relationship.
Its harder for men to come out and admit that I think so you're really doing the right thing for your self here
I think when you're in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.
Cut yourself free from this abusive relationship - file charges/get an AVO if thats what you want to do - maybe check out these sites and crisis lines
Mankind Initiative | 01823 334244 Men's Advice Line
...and then plug yourself back into AA. You've done really well there in the past
You've been sober before and you can be sober again. I have faith in you
D