Weev - I've just now seen this & read through the whole thing - phew - relieved that you didn't cave.
The hardest thing for me to admit was that there'd never, ever be 'a nice glass of wine'. Always the whole bottle. Then another. Off and running for months - possibly years. Took me decades to realize willpower was never going to work for me - once that first drink hit it was all over.
Happy you are here & safe.
