Welcome!! Of course you are welcome here. Relapse happens, but it doesn't have to. It's great that you're going to AA - do you have a sponsor yet? Getting a sponsor saved my life, I think. Had to be accountable, do the work, prove I wasn't just showing up but was working it. You drank for a long time, but that doesn't have to be forever! You are obviously ready for change. Change everything. No more abuse of yourself or allowing others to abuse you.
I agree wholeheartedly with Maudcat - just focus on today. I will not drink today. That's how I keep it manageable as a person who loved her booze and the socializing that came with it. Just for today :-)