I'm in!
Love what you said about broken neurology, Sao. That's what they taught us in treatment (not in those exact words) and it really helped me understand that I had something wrong in my brain that was going to take some sober time to heal. Over a long period of time using or drinking, we become neurologically wired to feel that alcohol or drugs are the only solution - the only way to feel any sort of pleasure. Our pleasure centers become damaged to the extent that that can literally be true - "normal" activities no longer bring pleasure. One lady at an AA meeting said it well - "my happy seems to be broken." It takes time to repair these broken pathways, but it does eventually happen. I can once again feel real feelings - good and bad. And I don't have to go running to the bottle to deal with them. My brain is healing.