wonder65

Hi..I am just at 96 hours since my last drink. I've lurking here on and off. Finally got the courage to post, because I am all alone in this battle and I'm pretty sure support is a good idea. Feeling ok. Fighting some nausea on and off, mild anxiety, insomnia. I feel blessed, as I know it can be a lot worse. I have been up all night for three nights scared to tears of having a seizure or hallucinations.
Aside from these past four days, I have drank 4-8 glasses of wine per evening for 8 years, with a few failed attempts at sobriety mixed in. I never got more than two weeks. Until about three months ago, I also often drank during the day in order to numb the pain caused by my abusive cheating (also an addict-drugs) boyfriend. I finally figured out how to leave him, and now I live alone. Safe, so I no longer go to bed wondering if it will be him or the alcohol that kills me in my sleep. Now I know it will be the alcohol.
As for living alone, I was just laughing at myself, because today found a bottle I had hidden in my closet. LOL. Old habits are hard to break.
Anyway, I am just taking it one day at a time. Trying to appreciate the little things that sobriety brings, like enjoying a nice healthy dinner instead of trying to figure out what I ate, by going through the trash and inspecting the dirty dishes the next morning. Yes, I blacked out nearly every night.
I really want to stay sober and enjoy life to the fullest and stop having to hide my drinking from my friends and family.

That's all for now, Thanks for listening.