Focus on just NOT drinking Volshen. Early sobriety, for me at least, was a big black suck hole. I was 100% miserable for a good long time and every day I made a pact not to pick up a drink, and not to kill myself. Eventually I got to a good spot. It takes time. It's atrocious. It's hard. I never had a pink cloud. It sucked 24/7 early on. If I can do it, you can too. I believe in you. Now I have a life second to none and I am so glad I didn't drink or kill myself that first year!
<3 Bunny