Hi sweetie -
I'm still struggling to detach from my Abf as like you, I am in love with him despite all the terrible and ugly sides that the alcoholism brings. Also like you, he's great when he isn't wasted (you will hear this a LOT here!)...but as you know your gut is telling you, this isn't working for you and causing you great pain. The thing about addiction is, it may seem like that "one bad quality" he has, but it literally will take every great quality he has and turn it into a bad one. In other words, addiction destroys everything - every.single.thing. He could be the greatest man in the world, but if he is an addict not in treatment or not even wanting to get sober, there's no real hope for an happiness in your relationship. Trust me, I am living it and if left untreated, it only gets worse. And it doesn't matter what you do to take care of him or tell him, whether you drink with him or without him, he will drink until only HE decides he doesn't want to. Pretty much the only solution right now is to decide if you want to to go along with him on this horrible and scary ride, or unhook and move on to taking care of yourself and finding a healthier relationship. I've spent over 2 years trying to convince mine how much better life is sober, and there are people here who have spent decades trying - yes decades, it is possible you will spend that long trying - I am in danger of it myself. The thing is, NOTHING you do or say will change him. Assume that who he is today as is good as it gets. Then base your decision on that.
It also sounds like you are at a very high risk for becoming an addict yourself. I have to admit when you mentioned he told you that you did all those things, it is possible of course, but addicts can also be highly manipulative people. Sometimes my A will tell me I said or did things that I know I didn't - this can be a form of Gaslighting that is used to manipulate you into believing something false to further his own agenda. (ie. if he tells you that you blacked out and hit him and smashed a TV it makes him feel in control and able to use this to justify his own bad behaviors...misery loves company)
Get to Alanon and keep researching and posting here. It is SO hard when you love someone so much and you are watching them self-destruct before your very eyes. It is even harder to leave them - Alanon and therapy will help. I have been struggling for over two years and not doing well to let go. Don't get sucked in like I did. Read my threads and think about whether you want my life. Trust me, you don't.