Originally Posted by
Smarie78 
That's it....I feel good when he's a good dad. When he goes to see his son (and actually even then I don't feel good because I feel like he is going to go and not because he wants to). And I feel good when he is sober and working a program. And I feel good when he has his own social life, and I feel good when he goes to meetings. But none of those things he does or has. It's the idea of him doing them that makes me feel good. The hope that 'if he just did that' I would feel good. Funny, I always tell him he is white-knuckling through his sobriety - but the fact is, I am the one white knuckling through the relationship.
smarie.... I too kept thinking he is white knuckling sobriety (for days at a time lol), so pathetic.....When I know I'm white knuckling it through this relationship as well... I'm gripping so tightly I may develop arthritis!!!
When children are in the mix it's hard to let go and give up, but just like a lot of people in here, I have hope that maybe one day I will be on my own not having to worry about living with this dysfunctional thing called a relationship!