IN!
I feel you Sao. Even though I did most of my drinking at home, I had to be the life of the party when I was out. I thought I had to be entertaining to be liked. I never tried to engage in thoughtful conversations. I was always looking for my next one-liner to get a laugh. Or maybe buy a round for the house if it seemed like the normies around me would approve. I was The Nonsensical Show...or I was in the corner wondering why people didn't like me and wishing I could get home to start some
real drinking.
I'm still working on my chit chat skills, but it's a lot easier than it used to be.
