I was wondering if your therapist has helped you work on some "action" steps that you can take to help reinforce some of the feelings and emotions you are trying to change/overcome? I think just like tonight when you had a sense of feeling power within yourself,.. you need more of that. The therapist shouldnt tell you what to do, but can help you create your own set of building blocks that can improve your self speak. And then I think you will be able to see things with the BF from a little different perspective, and when you do that, then you can begin to respond differntly. You will get where you need to go, and the lessons you learn about yourself are really whats most valuable. Time isnt lost, if we can earn life lessons and grow from the experience.