Thanks everyone, I will respond to each when I'm back at my laptop tomorrow (on mobile now!). I definitely hit a bunch of nerves today with him. He came by and I was making dinner and we were casually chatting. He already seemed in a mood as I had shared with him a job I was pursuing at an office he does not "agree" with. Reason being that my sis works there and I use to tell him about all the fun outings and parties she goes to there and he use to say he couldn't handle me doing that. That he feels I'd be out and easily swept off my feet by some client or colleague since he claims to know I like going out and having fun (I'm an extrovert and love to be out and about, but doesn't make me a cheater as I never have or would...now he on the other hand...)
AnywY, as many of you know I am in desperate need of work and when I got a call from the place today I said yes right away to an interview. So him already touchy about that, the night did not start off good. Fast forward to later he showed me a photo of his boy at school and I mentioned to him how I have been thinking a lot about what he said with his son needing a father figure around and why can't he be there. Boy that was NOT the thing to say! I know it was Codie behavior and I had no right to spout out. But I was trying to understand, to help (ughhhh I know...codie language to a T). He barked and got angry, yelled...and then played victim ("thanks for reminding me I'm a lousy horrible person now and a terrible father and an addict...You just pick the perfect time to make this night horrible don't you?" insert blame).
Then we didn't speak the rest of the night and went to bed. I tried to make peace, but he wasn't having it. Very dry and child-like. It's like I burst his bubble of the girlfriend he could escape to that let's him forget everything. He comes over, we eat, watch a movie, have sex, go to sleep and all is well. Last two weeks I have challenged him (not on purpose but bc I'm tired of pretending everything is ok) and the same outbursts from him. He seems to be angry at my lack of passivity. He counts on it and it's as though he's finding his safe space is no longer what it was (no judgement- forget the world together comfort zone)