Welcome to SR lifeisworthit. I think you actually started already by sharing your story with us! And it's definitely confusing to decide what to do about our drinking so don't worry if you are still having doubts.
Ultimately, you'll need to be the one who decides if alcohol is a problem for you or not. I can say there a whole bunch of "red flags" in your message that would indicate that it is a problem:
* Binge drinking several days a week
* Hiding your drinking from your wife
* Increased tolerance
* Using alcohol to help "pass the time better"
* Bargaining with yourself as to whether alcohol is a problem or not.
Having said that, have you ever just tried quitting for a week or two to see what happens? If you don't drink to get wasted or don't crave it then it shouldn't be a problem, right?
If you do decide that it is a problem, "cutting back" will not likely solve it. The essence of addiction is that we cannot control our consumption - so if you truly are an alcoholic, abstinence is the only solution. That's not a bad thing at all though....in fact it's a better way to live for those of us that are alcoholics.