Welcome to SR ,
I was a bottle a day drinker myself. I knew that something had to change even when I was drinking, but I was on a roller coaster of trying to maintain it....or control it. I could not control it and I could not maintain.
My last episode of drinking resulted in 2 bottles of wine and a black out. I knew at that moment that everything in my life needed change. I was destroying myself.
The first few weeks were difficult as I set about structuring my "new" routine. I had to find ways to keep myself away from alcohol and away from anything that would trigger me.
Each day was structured:
After work I ate dinner. I took a bath or washed off the day in some way. I logged onto SR and posted or read. I watched an episode of a series that I enjoy or picked up a book. I went to bed. All actions were repeated the next day.
It was hard work in the beginning but I was determined to make it work as I did not want to die because I was alcoholic or at the grips of active alcoholism.
The benefits from quitting have been numerous:
No hangovers
Emotional clarity
Mental Clarity
Spiritually level
Physical health
Skin looks great
Eyes are clear
Bank account is steady (It really is amazing how much money was spent)
Weight is steady
Relationships are healthy and engaging
My step child sees sober and engaging parents
Productivity is through the roof
I dont think about drinking any longer. I think about recovering and building a solid foundation of health. I know that drinking will only result in a mess for me. I cannot go there again. Drinking was a war. Not drinking has peace and stability.
It is perfectly acceptable to change what is not working for you. To admit that alcohol is not serving a purpose. We all have many reasons for what we do but those reasons can change and before you know it, you are trapped in a vicious cycle with a hangover everyday. Its just too much weight to bare.
There are amazing people on this site. The forum leader and Dee, along with the moderators and countless others have been very helpful for me. Please stay close and keep posting. Before you know it you will have gained some control and your life will turn itself back around!
Please keep posting. The real work begins