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Old 06-04-2017, 01:09 AM
  # 51 (permalink)  
honeypig
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,478
I have no legal knowledge, of course, but I don't think your concerns about him getting sole custody are at all valid. If he moves an hour and a half away, I'm guessing the kids will perhaps spend some weekends w/him. HE is the one choosing to move far away, NOT you, and I cannot imagine why the court would say "yes, we will allow this man to take the kids far away and have sole custody." I don't think these fears are reasonable in any way.

I'm afraid I will regret my decision.
When I felt the same, my brother told me "then you can get remarried, IF that happens." Good point, that option does exist, IF that happens.

I mean, what if this is the time he gets sober for real...right?!
IF this is the time he gets sober for real, he will accept that he has caused a ton of damage and will deal w/making it right as best he can. If he does NOT feel and act in such a manner, you've just wasted more years of your life as well as your children's.

This article might give you an idea of what he needs to do to maintain sobriety: https://www.hazelden.org/web/public/..._decision.page

I also suggest you go over to the A side of the forum, "Newcomers" and the like. Read what folks there have to say about what they do to stay sober and to see what recovery really looks like. Then look at AH.

Lexie is right, I think, when she says that he was drinking as soon as the Antabuse wore off; it's just that he didn't get caught right off the bat. So you have yet another round of drinking, hiding and lying.

Have you heard the saying "Nothing changes if nothing changes"? I'm not really seeing anything change here. Eating better and cutting out the chewing tobacco is NOT going to keep him sober, batchel. He has lied to you yet again. These are NOT steps forward. Nothing has changed.
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