Originally Posted by FallenAngelina

I interpret aliciagr to mean that what's going on in the relationship is what's most helpful to focus on, not whether there is a substance or not. We get way too wrapped up in monitoring the substance, when it's all of the behaviors, omissions, ways of relating, etc. that are the actual problem. I think it's important to keep her point in mind. It's why sobriety, in and of itself, is just a start and why recovery is so very different than mere abstinence. She's not playing down the power of the substance, she's pointing out the importance in how we conduct ourselves in relationships.