Your life is worth as much as your child's. When you realize this, I believe you'll take action. Alcohol is not worth the time and energy you, me or anyone else gives it. Eventually, it catches up with all of us. There are no free passes.
I waited for the "Sober Fairy" to show up. Something or someone to do the work for me, stop me from drinking. Well, she never showed up and I was slowly killing myself. I was forced to dig deep, do whatever it took to get sober. Was it easy? No, but anything worth having never is right?
Start by not drinking today, keep posting and reaching out for support. We're here for you Knat. You can do this!