This is one of my old blog posts. I was drinking regularly at the time. I was able to see and communicate wisdom but unable at the time to ACT on that wisdom:
There is a story in the bible, and someone else may know it better than I ... But I recall the idea of it very well.
It is about worshipping Diana. Putting someone or something as greater and more important than the Divine-spark (presence) within ourselves.
The idea here is that there are so many things we slip into, and get lost in. We get lost in our ideas of what we want, or what we hate, or a person we long for, someone or something that we think we NEED in order to be happy. Or we get consumed by some drama, and allow it to dominate our attention, thinking that if we control it, or feed it, or focus on it, it will give us something we want in the end.
Anytime we are doing this, we are putting our focus, attention, and "worship" on an illusion, and the results of this focus will also be illusory. The results will invariably disappoint.
The results disappoint because what we are really looking for is love, and those things do not actually have the ability to love us the way we need to be loved. We crave mostly, an eternal love, one that will love us wherever we are, in every age, in every situation. An unconditional love. The new car will get old, the person we want will hurt us or change (or they simply cant love us like that... they can't continuously love us even if they want to), the drugs will leave us hungover and desolate or just spaced out and unaware, the trip to the beautiful place will not last forever... etc.
The most authentic true thing for us to be focusing on is the Divine-spark within ourselves. Or, we could also say simply that it is PRESENCE. This spark is an ever-new, eternal, ever abundant fountain of inspiration, strength, and love. It has the ability to furnish your life with so much more than you even think you desire. It brings peace of mind and heart, joy, love, compassion, strength, and inspiration. It is a limitless love and it is a continuous, self-sustaining wellspring. Tap into it, and It will go before you and mend situations, heal circumstances, and organize miraculous synchronistic events. This spark is truly all we need, as it is infinitely intelligent, and ever loving, and if we have faith in it, it will come in and move through our lives and the lives of those around us. But we must give up our own ideas and our will to allow it to flow through us. We must quit worshipping Diana... as beautiful as she is. If we do, we will allow this love, this spark within to flow... out into all situations in our lives... and it will fix, and it will sustain.... and it will cause an abundant garden to grow in a desert.
The reason many of us lose our focus so easily is because this force seems to us to be unreal. It is invisible. We cannot SEE IT because it is not an object of this world. It's home is in your heart, well hidden. We can only see the effects of our faith in it. All the other things that we desire, which we think we need or which we crave... are objects (even other people become then objects in this situation). They represent a "worshipping of Diana"... And will only lead to more craving, more dissatisfaction, tummy aches, and stubbed toes
I have had to learn this lesson over, and over again... ad nauseam!
But the wonderful thing about this inner-spark is that it will not leave you, even as you leave it to pine after your version of Diana. It will not abandon us, ever... however.... we certainly can rob ourselves of its joy and the wellbeing it provides by abandoning it ourselves. And If and when we finally wake up and remember the truth again, that spark is right there, ready to come in and pour its healing powers onto and into my life once again.
I am tired... fatigued... of making this mistake so many times, but I am joyful and grateful every time I remember it... Because once I do, it is there, as new and powerfully real as ever.