one thing that I would consider is that drinking to me was an impulsive response to anything. I now realise after my relapse, that my downfall is my ingrained impulsive behaviour, I need, want and crave instant gratification like a petulant child. I said yes to a drink or things that made me feel good without any real thought behind it. Why do I want to wait for the feel good feelings of sobriety, when right now this drink infront of me is going to take it all away right now. ya know?
I'm having to learn to slow down my brain and think before I grab that drink with a friend, before I find the wine bottle in my shopping basket, when I only went in for bread. I stop, pause, breathe and slow my brain and play the tape and try and think of tomorrow, rather than how I feel in that particular moment. What is really going to bring me more pleasure, a hangover after maybe an hours worth of feeling great and carefree that night, or waking tomorrow having won a battle and enjoying my day with a clear head and conscience?
That's how I was in the cycle you are, binge drink, then go sober a few days, then a friend calls and says lets get lunch.... we get there, asked what I want to drink and 'white wine' has fallen out my mouth before I really thought it through. Next thing I know, ive decided to drink the place dry and any thought of consequences has gone. Or I have a bad day and before I know it, ive got some wine to help 'de stress' me, without even really thinking about it, I just do it. And around and around we go.
It doesn't sound like you actually have considered a plan particularly, its sounds a kinda a 'wing it' thing, and sobriety cannot be 'winged'. It has to be planned and worked on daily. Or perhaps you have not really and truly envisioned the positives and possibility in a life sober. I hope you don't mind me saying that. Its just an opinion of an observation.
Anyway just my 2 cents on what I hear, and thought you might want to think on. Good luck to you!