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Old 06-02-2017, 03:07 AM
  # 40 (permalink)  
jaynie04
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Nutmegger
Posts: 1,799
Hi sweetichick. I am 52 and went to rehab 4 years ago and have been sober since. I was not only addicted to alcohol but also Klonopin and Ambien. In fact my descent into alcohol abuse started because I developed major sleep issues in my late 20's/30's.

I was petrified of going to rehab because I was sure that I would never sleep without my meds. I couldn't even imagine having a roommate and trying to sleep.

I went to rehab anyway. The first 3 days I spent in a detox unit. My roommate arrived in the middle of the night (with about 20 pieces of luggage, which was comical in retrospect considering what we all looked like). She had restless leg syndrome and tossed and turned all night. Even though I was addicted myself, I was completely naive about the world of drugs and detox.

The thing is, my worst fear in rehab happened and yet it didn't seem like a big deal once I was there. We weren't allowed to bring any reading material, all that they had was some old pamphlets that were missing half the pages and a kitten puzzle with a lot of missing pages. It was boring and uncomfortable an weird. I would do it all over again. The detox unit was small, only about 20 of us, and I dreaded being transferred to the general population unit. But that too worked out. I met a really nice group of people and I got a lot out of that month. Everything i dreaded came true, yet it seems such a tiny price for what I gained.

There was a sign on the way into the rehab that said "expect a miracle". And there was a sign on the way out that said "you are a miracle". That miracle was realizing that I was absolutely capable of living a life free from alcohol. If you read back among your posts you seem to be stuck. I was stuck. Trying these ancillary small day to day fixes doesn't seem to be working. Rehab is a gift and if it is all possible I can't emphasize enough that I would jump on it. Smoking is holding you back from saving your life? I know nicotine patches were mentioned.\

Berrybean's post is spot on. You are the one who determines where you are at in a month or a year. There is bound to be short term discomfort and anxiety. But that is a small price to pay for breaking out of this cycle you seem to be caught in.
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