Yes, I remember that feeling . The moment my eyes opened in the morning and searching for the last thing I remember happening. The horror of images where I didn't know if it was my brain seeing what did happen or just something I was conjuring up. It's a horrific feeling. That sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
The last time it happened I didn't have to guess too much. When I opened my eyes I was on a concrete slab on the floor with concrete walls around me.
To this day one of the greatest perks of sobriety is the absence of that experience and knowing I am 100% accountable at all times.
I hope you consider quitting. Once I had the first blackout they happened more frequently.
You can't change the past but you can stop this from ever happening again. Keep coming here and reading, you're not alone!