My friend came to visit just a bit ago
She didn't know that I was over my binge and was trying to stop. We were sitting outside and she asked if I wanted a glass of wine. Told her no, I can't handle the anxiety that it causes.
She was understanding of course. We continued to chat and she was trying to find out information and think of ways that could help. I recently applied for Medicaid (new low, first time ever) and she told me that she doesn't think that I will get it. She was really trying to me feel better and ended up making me feel worse. After about an hour I said, "yeah, lets drink."
I told her that I would be up after I ate something. I've decided to say no. This is a toughie for me. Wow. I want it so bad but want the anxiety to go away more.
So, tonight I will probably have my sweaty-night light sleep moments, but tomorrow will be better. One day at a time.
Thank you to all that shared. I feel like we are leading double lives. I've gone through so much of what you've experienced and now back on that road. Thank you thank you thank you.