First I'd like to say I'm sorry about your situation as it sounds pretty bad. Losing 30 lbs is fairly serious in my opinion. I think you should seek help, and soon.
You asked us to share so I will. I had done all the types of drinking (daily drinker, weekend warrior, binger). I recall far too many Monday's where I wasn't fit to work and run my business, I remember many nights laying wide awake in bed as the sweat poured out of me and my heart felt like it was going to explode, not eating for 2 days, scared of of my mind from nothing (impending doom). I was enduring all of this for 5-6 hours of drunkenness. How could I not see how insane this was? The tipping point was an accident I had, a bad one. At that point the consequences had just become to great to continue thinking that drinking "fit" in my life and my life's goals. So I quit, and I'm glad I did.