Ditto what Berrybean said: normal people don't understand addiction, whatever form it comes in. They simply don't get it.
That is one reason why discussing your drinking with other people in recovery is so important: they will make observations that are invaluable. They have the experience and usually have been through exactly what you are going through. And, they get it.
I would highly suggest a program, if only to give you a place to share. The isolation and loneliness of drinking and suffering from addiction is so painful. And, it doesn't have to be that way.