I can't listen to your post yet as my son has been watching news every time I come back to this thread
(yep ... that is a bit violent!)
I was thinking this morning that 6 months seems to be a time when I tend to struggle and fail with my alchoholism. I think I have a better ability to accept but not follow the diferent things that would frustrate me before and then become excuses to drink.
But I also remember one time when I was really struggling at 6 months with a Buddhist question that I couldn't understand ... At that time I felt I "needed" an answer
So ... I sent an email to "ask a monk". After a few weeks without response and struggling with this question I used it as an excuse to drink to try and quiet my questioning mind (dumb).
Long story short ... I really see a benefit to having a teacher. Since my teacher died I haven't found one. For now it seems that this is the way it is. Things will change and perhaps a teacher will become visible to me. For now I just read, meditate, look to others to support me and keep in mind that this path isn't really taught ... the teacher points. I have to realize the teachings for myself. So a teacher is important, but I think not absolutely necessary. (one who spoke English would be nice
)
Hope you all are well.